"What's the craic fellows?": Read this present Irishman's splendid Facebook letter to ISIS

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An Irishman has penned a diverting 'public statement' to ISIS taking after a spate of late dread assaults in Paris, Egypt and Lebanon. 'Finchie Cova' composed a 800+ word note to the terrorists yesterday, asking them how they were and taking note of the chilling video they conveyed for the current week marking Ireland as 'Europe's weakest connection'. He lets them know we're "here for the craic" and cautions them not to explode acclaimed in good spirits Leo Burdocks - however assaulting Leitrim is fine. Also, hitting bars is well not feasible. He finishes up by giving Da'esh 10 top tips before closing down. Posted on Thursday at 1.28pm, it has following been shared more than 12,000 times and was shared 10,000 times in under 24 hours.

The letter, in full, peruses:

So after the previous couple of weeks of shite that has been skimming around on Facebook iv attempted to stay out of it.

Be that as it may, I can't, not any longer. Finchie needs to talk.

MY OPEN LETTER TO ISIS

What's the craic chaps! I don't think we have authoritatively met. Finchie here from Ireland, we are that non irritating, laid back post English island toward the west of the bulls***.

So how's yourself? Been occupied I trust. I see from the shallow media outlets and "duplicate glue" trepidation posting on online networking that ye have been up to your neck in it the previous couple of months. Bravo!

Sorry to learn pestering ye young men while ye are caught up with arranging the world's greatest blazing man celebration for the sake of Alan, (or what ever he's called) yet something has become obvious to recent days that we need a snappy "talk" about it.

What's this I catch wind of ye adding us to a rundown of nations called "The Global Coalition" in some frantic 80's themed publicity video? Ok chaps go ahead will ya, shtep down from 3 legged stallion now for a moment and rewind the tape cuz I think ye failed to understand the situation.

As a matter of first importance, chaps were here for the craic! We have been through an excess of sh**e selling over the past couple of thousand years to be goin all "rouge and sh**" and joining in battles we obviously would prefer not to be a piece of. It's similar to when a fisht battle breaks out in grade school in the middle of Vince and Iano Kelly. The vast majority of us simply watch, yell a bit and kick a receptacle to make commotion or whatever, however we don't try getting included (well Vince is English so any tricky open door for a shneaky kick to the shins and were on top of it) we couldn't be a***d with the gap thing, we're basically excessively laid back.

Presently remembering that let me let you in on a couple tips on the off chance that you do choose to come here and pi** in our cornflakes.

Try not to judge us on the activities of the fellows over the lake. We don't care for that craic. I get that ye have yer battle an all, however dont drag us into it, we don't give a left b****ck for Alan and what he advises ye to do.

Sharon's law, (or whatever it is) won't work here. I know a Sharon, and she's a ****. We don't care for her either.

Try not to bomb our sh**. We simply got done with building it back in the wake of breaking free from the very adversary you likewise have on your hit list. (on the off chance that you need tho you can crush leitrim, outright sh***hole fellows I'm not kidding)

We have more than one armed force. 1 official armed force (really went preparing in north stopper as of late to get ready for your landing. Also, yes north plug is precisely like Damascus, particularly fermoy on a Friday night).

We additionally have a couple non official, profoundly cryptic, multi gifted armed forces all with the same name (you get accustomed to it before long) who detest one another however have one imperative thing in common...all distraught b****rds. Let that simmer for a while

By the way the informal armed forces are all prepared in guerrilla fighting. Meaning your f***ed. Like really f***ed. Unless you need to purchase weapons, then some of them will choose not to see to " the reason" and offer ya a couple of AKs while you visit.

Try not to try and consider exploding Leo Burdocks!!! Consider this your harshest cautioning!

On the off chance that any single bar is harmed amid your short stay here, we will think about this as a demonstration of war!!! What's more, we acclaim to our God Arthur, we will hit down on you with incredible retribution and enraged displeasure on the individuals who endeavor to demolish our drinking examples amid a period of emergencies!.

On a last note, recall these and you ought to be fine:

1. Offies shut down at ten

2. Try not to leave the drenching on

3. PM me for Bono's location

4. Try not to bomb sh** when the toy show is on

5. Begin with leitrim

6. In the event that you're searching for virgins you won't discover any on Harcourt road

7. Get a Tesco clubcard. Trust me.

8. In the event that you need to explode a stadium, go to dalymount please.

9. Go to a water dissent, they don't pass judgment on you for where your from, just on the off chance that you pay or not.

10. At long last, if requested change, eyes down and continue F***ing strolling!

So ISIS its great to meet you. Help yourself out and us, stay where you are. You would prefer not to come here, were not pestered with the issues you have. Be that as it may, in the event that you do, we will give a good old fashioned thumping to every one of you utilizing mammies wooden spoon, kilkenny throwers and the bouncers from the copper confronted Jack's.Mirror